I have a hard time going from work to home. From Worker Bee to Mom. My dirty little secret is this: I can’t relax. Literally can’t do it. Don’t know how. I’m always thinking, always worried, always tense.I walk around with a pit in my stomach. Last month I was having anxiety attacks, especially on Friday night as I tried to force myself to unwind from the week.
Tonight, my husband told me he thought I might need professional help. He wasn’t talking a relaxing aromatherapy massage though. He was talking therapy. Psychotherapy that is; he meant a shrink. My initial reaction to that was not “Really?! You think I need therapy? I’m so insulted you think I’m that bad off.” Let’s be honest, I probably could benefit from a little one-on-one counseling.
My initial reaction was more like: “How in the hell will I find time to go to a shrink?” I barely find time to eat or pee much less pencil in another appointment that will stress me out as I try to get there on time. Being late is another thing that makes me crazy. I hate being late so much that I’m often too early. And being too early is weird. So then I have to wait in my car until I’m on time or acceptably tardy–which means about 4 minutes. That’s I-really-wanted-to-be-on-time-but-hit-all-the-red-lights kind of late and that’s not only acceptable, it keeps you from looking too eager.
Anyway, I started wondering: How do other moms switch gears from work to home? I need to learn how to be present and stop worrying about ______:
a. the presentation I have to deliver to a new client
b. that bitchy email I shouldn’t have sent in the heat of the moment
c. the really cool new project I desperately want to work on
in order to focus on my kids and my husband and my friends…you know, my life.
So, what’s the answer? I’m really wondering how people–doesn’t even have to be moms– leave work behind and focus on other things once they leave the office. In high school, my basketball coach used to tell us to leave our problems in our locker and not bring them on the court. I need to leave my problems in my desk at night.
Would love advice, tips, hints, titles of self help books, anything. Thinking referrals for a good therapist might come in handy, too.
