As I mentioned in my last post, happiness has been on my mind a lot lately and as it turns out, I’m not the only one. Everyone is getting in on the happiness game.
- Pharrell’s Happy is nominated for an Academy Award and is #1 on the Billboard chart (at least as of 2/19). And, by the way, it has become known as my jam around these parts. Can you listen to that song and not sing and dance and clap and spin? I can’t.
- I’m currently sitting here listening to Happy Radio on Pandora. You should check it out. It really is hard to feel sad when you are chair-dancing.
- Every other pin on my Pinterest feed is a pretty typographical poster with a motivational quote about happiness, which is fine by me since I am a sucker for both letterpress posters and motivational quotes.
Speaking of quotes, in high school I kept a notebook filled with quotes from poems, historical figures, Grateful Dead songs and John Hughes films. One of the quotes that always stuck with me was from Abraham Lincoln:
Most people find they are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Maybe I remember it because I didn’t really believe it. I always felt like happiness depended on how well I was doing in school, if I was invited to the party on Friday night and if I had a zit on my chin or not. In other words, happiness always seemed dependent on others–like something that happened to me, not something I controlled.
Happiness is bright blue shoes on a sunny day
I’m around 40 now (ahem) and my happiness is still largely dependent on the condition of my skin and how I feel about myself. I never knew you could have zits and wrinkles at the same time–that seems outrageously unfair. But I’ve also begun to realize that my happiness is not something out of my control. And it seems that more science is emerging to support Honest Abe’s assertion. I know we have all heard about the importance of a positive attitude and maybe none of this seems new to you. But what is new, at least to me, is that thought that we can practice skills that increase our long-term happiness.
So, choosing to not sit home in front of a Pretty Little Liars marathon on Friday night just because of a zit on your chin is not new. (Please note: If you are watching a PLL marathon for any other, non-skin related reason, I will join you and bring the white wine.) Deciding to practice certain skills in order to experience more happiness is.
According to the scientists behind happify.com, the five essential skills are: Savor, Thank, Aspire, Give and Empathize.
Taking the time to enjoy a moment of sunshine on our face–even in rush hour traffic.
Thanking–and feeling real gratitude for–the guy in the red pickup who lets us over in time to make our exit on the highway.
Listening to uplifting music.
Giving our co-worker a dress (or donating it the Goodwill) that is never going to fit us again instead of letting it languish unloved and unworn in our closet. All small steps we can take to improve our long-term happiness.
Stopping in the middle of the crosswalk to capture the moment on a recent trip to NYC
So, I will be working on these skills. Some of them come easier to me than others but the beauty is that they can all be improved with practice. Practicing happiness sounds a hell of a lot better than, say, practicing the flute, which is good since I never could bring myself to do that. I lip-synched (is that the right term for pretending to play a musical instrument that is typically played with the mouth? I mean, I know it wouldn’t work for the air guitar) Sweet Caroline in the 5th grade concert by pursing my lips and “playing” the notes with my fingers. I could fake that just fine, but that was one time.
Happiness is not only harder to fake, but the consequences are steeper, the rewards greater. I’m practicing for one heck of a solo performance.
