I am not opposed to plastic surgery. Having three kids in 38 months did a number on my belly. We are talking permanent outie belly button and weird, elephant knee-like skin texture. Not pretty. Plus, I have diastasis recti, which basically means my abdominal muscles spread apart during pregnancy and never went back together again. Making rock hard abs impossible.The fact that I haven’t actually done a sit-up in three years also makes abs of steel unlikely but that is beside the point right now.
Long story short: I fully plan on a tummy tuck at some point.
I have already mentioned that I don’t understand the Lohans or Montags of the world. However, I do understand wanting to look better. Big nose, protruding ears, crooked teeth. All fixable. And all understandable. Unfortunately, I have a problem that is a little bit harder to solve.
Here is the thing: it is hard to fix a giant forehead.
I have what my friends in college affectionately (I think) coined a fivehead. It is bigger than your average forehead (or fourhead in case you need help with the “fivehead” part of the story). When challenged with a large forehead, most women grow bangs. However, most women with a giant forehead aren’t also blessed with ridiculously curly hair. I have always wanted bangs, but I don’t really think bangs and curly hair play well together. If I’m wrong and you have evidence of someone with curly hair looking good with bangs, please let me know. (In this case) I would love to be wrong!
As I get older and the lines on my face increase in number and depth, it is becoming even more troublesome. I find myself sitting in meetings fixating on foreheads to see if anyone’s is:
a. as big as mine and/or
b. has as many lines
I’m pretty sure I’ve spent a good part of my life raising my eyebrows to (subconsciously) try to make my forehead appear smaller. And now I have lots of wrinkles and lines up there to show for it.
The way I see it, I have some choices:
1. Chemically straighten my hair and cut bangs.
2. Keep my hair curly and go for a Minnie Driver.
3.Keep my hair curly and straighten my bangs–is that weird?
4. Continue to go through life with a fivehead.
For a while there, I thought there might be a fifth option: having a plastic surgeon lower my hairline to start somewhere in the middle of the giant expanse that lies between my eyebrows and my curls.
You know go in once for a tummy tuck and hairline adjustment. Come out looking awesome. One time, get ‘er all done. But a very quick search taught me that chances are I’d need to grow bangs to hide a scar anyway. So why bother with the surgery to also grow bangs?
To tell the truth, I’m really considering the bang option. What’s the worst that can happen? I have to bobby pin my bangs over to the side for the next, oh, 2 years while they grow out. And best case scenario, my biggest appearance insecurity is solved. I might be talking myself into the scissors and out of the scalpel.
I’m still getting that tummy tuck though. Some day.
